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A Mindset for the New Year

What most people do is they look at the new year date as a starting point. They give themselves the excuse of “new year, new me” mentality to justify the work they didn’t put the past year, justify why they aren’t where they want to be in their lives in regards to financial freedom, women, fitness etc.

I was told by a fitness ex-girlfriend of mines that Gym memberships soar in December/January but by the second week in February, 80% of new members stop going.


New Year is a great time to self reflect, me personally I do it around September so that by the New Year I’m already focused and achieving things while others are kickstarting their new habits. Either way, what is more important than when you start is that you start and that you stay dedicated to the new habits.

The problem is when you make a New Years’ resolution and you don’t stick to it, it beats your ego a bit. Your mind subconsciously tells you “hey man great plan and all but you were full of shit then and now based on how much action you took”. For some that can create the fire to get things done, but if you were making a resolution anyways chances are lacking the fire is what is at play.

So why not make a Life Resolution. That’s right, a commitment not to the year but to the life you want. A lot of guys have asked me throughout the years what keeps me motivated after so long of doing this, a decade of personal development, focused and diligent work on my attitude, confidence, and skills and I simply tell them this….I’m going to die one day.

I know that’s a bit extreme, but it’s the easy way and also pain driven way of saying my time is limited. I am hungry to achieve my goals whether personal, business, relationships, etc cause I know one day I won’t be here. You get one life to make yourself happy, live how you want with resources, abundance, great friendship, and relationships. Why not be in as much control as possible with the things you can control like the effort you put in.

Guys always tell us “I wish I took a bootcamp or found out about this stuff years ago” and I don’t blame them. What pick up artists do is they change lives and if they do it right it changes it for the better. Are you doing what you said you would do? Are you living the life you want? If not, are you doing anything about it?

People focus on other happiness, what so and so is doing on social media and all other ways people justify their lack of action in creating the life they want. 

Be honest with yourself, are you doing the most you could be doing to get the life you want? For me pick up opened the doors to realizing there are skills out there for areas in life I thought occurred naturally and without any control. I thought it was chance, luck, spontaneous being at the right place with the right time with the right people and everything else that took my control out of it. I know today that is far from the case. 

Whether you want a new job, a girlfriend, to learn guitar, or whatever else u feel would bring you happiness the question is are you doing everything you can to acquire those things? Are you ready and willing to sacrifice, as most things of value can only be mastered by committing passionate time to it? You have to work to get into a position where you can succeed. Not expect success to come to you or bitch and moan about why you don’t have things going on the way you want them. There’s always someone richer, always someone better looking, always someone willing to do the work so there is no time or energy to waste.  There is room at the top for everyone and resources to go around but few are willing to let go of their phones, their destructive friends and relationships, their favorite TV shows for the core things that they themselves know will bring them happiness. 

Those sports teams already have success, that TV show has success, the apps you use are all popping and you do nothing else but consume and consume. Look I love my sports and TV, I love Chelsea, the Patriots, Breaking Bad, etc but I work all the time to earn the right or treat to indulge, not accept that it’s a part of my life. I’m working around the clock on new programs and bootcamps, a couple of secret projects I will announce in the coming months, and creating new content from a lense of creating balanced men instead of club regulars….and all of that takes time. 

I’ve talked to plenty of people further along in age than I am, When you talk to older people they all mention one thing “I wish”. I wish I spent more time with my family, I wish I worked harder, I wish I learned how to play the piano, etc. Do you want to look back at your life and know, accept and feel the impact of not maximizing it? I implore you to live your life so that doesn’t happen. For that, you have to act. Act and Act right this very second. If you want something in life and right after this stream you don’t go do one thing to help you succeed in any area then you’re full of shit. One move a day is 365 moves by the end of the year.

Instead of trying to submerge in more stuff that doesn’t matter why not work on yourself. Doesn’t matter if you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and so on you can always wake up with the decision to better yourself, the ones you love and the life you live. With the decision, as long as you do the work and put the effort in properly there is no way for you to not better any situation. 

Guys tell us, “I took a bootcamp cause I wanted better girls or girls at all in my life but it’s helped me in so many areas,I lost weight, I left my shitty job and got another one that’s way better, I value the positive people in my life more all because of this” and I can totally relate What pick up allows you to do is open your eyes to the possibilities of life and not just with girls. At least for the functional guy and not the guy after redemption.

So I put some effort into giving you guys what I’ve been doing since September every day. Things you can do to right now to maximize your life and feel good about going after your goals.

1. Laugh every day and make it a point to. Control your mood and don’t let outside things keep you from smiling. 

2. Practice solitude and don’t depend on people and outside stimuli. Be alone with yourself and enjoy where your mind goes. 

3. Be greatful, have an appreciation list you read at the start of each morning. By being greatful you can refocus your attention

4. Establish a “Get it done now” mentality! Waiting last minute causes stress so do it now, whatever “it” 

5. Create an Action Plan. Know what you are doing and what you have to get done before you start doing. If you fail to plan you can plan to fail. So be prepared, create specific actions that will bring you closer.

6. Give yourself a dead line. Often we make goals but don’t give us a time frame to achieve it. One can work on his pick up skills for 10 years and never get anywhere, the same goes for his wealth and health.

7. Hold yourself accountable. If you don’t achieve it, what’s the consequence on top of you already not getting closer to your goals. 

8. Know excuses will rise and you have to shut em down and win every battle. 

Do all of this and please check yourself right now before you find yourself with less confidence, less drive, less action cause you haven’t built momentum in your work, effort and passion. Success is at the end of all of our lives, it’s the times we let other things stop us in our tracks that ultimately keep people from ever getting there.

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Askcolgate is a dating and social interaction consulting agency located in the heart of west hollywood, california. Founded by wemerson oliveira, askcolgate has been helping high caliber, goal oriented, and successful minded professionals for more than a decade in the areas of dating, relationship and personal development.

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